


Factory Girl

by Lafyel



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Prostitution, M/M, Prostitution, Recreational Drug Use, cross dressing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-11
Updated: 2014-09-07
Packaged: 2018-01-04 09:37:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1079420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lafyel/pseuds/Lafyel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren is a prostitute with too many secrets and too many problems.</p><p>He sells him self at a high price, uses the money to help support the only people in the world he cares for -</p><p>Armin and Mikasa...</p><p>Eren is a troubled young man still in the foster care system, trying to make sense of how he fell down the rabbit hole.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you see any errors

He stumbles through the crowd to the back of the bar, is pushed and shoved this way and that. There’re hands on his arm, tugging and pulling him, coaxing him towards the dance floor. He pulls his arm back, glares at the person. They say something to him, but he can’t hear it, can’t hear anything over the music.

The brunette flips them off, middle finger raised expression angry, spins and continues on.

The air is thick, cold and yet overheated at the same time as he stumbles to the back of the building, shoves the door open to the bathroom. There’s graffiti sprayed along the walls, scribbled words all over the place. The room stinks, reeks of piss and vomit, is littered with toilet paper strewn across the floor. He makes his way to the largest stall on the end, kicks it open with his sneaker and nudges it shut with his leg.

Slides the lock into place.

Eren hangs his backpack up on the hook, unzips it and sets a pair of clear stiletto heels on the ground. He tugs his shirt up and off his head, pushes it into his backpack. A black crop top is pulled out, slipped on. The fabric stops just above where his elbows hit on his waist, the sleeves long and clinging to his arms. He tugs his belt on his pants open, pushes them, boxers and all, down his legs. He toes off his shoes, is careful to stand atop them, to not touch the floor.

The brunette shoves his pants and boxers into the bag, pulls out a small strip of fabric, a garter belt. He hooks it in the back, pulls out a torn piece of fishnet, rolls it up his leg and hooks it to the straps dangling on his leg. Eren puts the other thigh high on and tightens the straps, adjusting them to the length he wants. He pulls out a small skirt next, one that has a dull shine to it, that hugs his hips and sits just below his ass when he pulls it on.

The door to the bathroom opens, the music of the bar bleeds in even more, loud and thumping. Eren listens to some people as they stumble about, as they make their way into another stall. He ignores them, slips his foot into a stiletto and tightens the small buckle on it. He stands up in it and places his foot in the other.

He grins to himself, can feel the skirt hugging his thighs, rising up in the back almost enough to expose him. The brunette pulls out a small bag from the front pocket and walks over to the mirror. He leans forward and draws thick dark kohl lines around his eyes, exaggerating their shape, applies mascara to darken his lashes.

The person in the other stall starts laughing at something that’s said, high pitched giggling that has Eren frowning as he fishes out his lipstick.

A deep red that he uncaps.

He twists the tube, places it to his lips and drags it over his skin, too much, till it’s thick and obscene and he _grins_.

Eren likes leaving lipstick on their dicks, likes seeing it smeared around his own mouth later.

He puts it back into the little bag, returns it to his backpack hanging on the door. The laughter has stopped and there’s a loud thump as someone walks into the wall, or rather falls into it. The brunette ignores it, pulls a long brown wig from his bag. He stands before the mirror and puts it on, straightens the strands and adjusts his appearance.

He sucks his teeth, runs his tongue over them and grins, green eyes dark. Eren crouches to pick his sneakers up, tosses them into his back pack and leaves the stall. He makes his way through the bathroom and back into the bar. The hall is dark as he walks into it, crowded with people standing around, drinks in hands.

Eren looks down as he stumbles through the crowd, hands grabbing at him, men trying to talk to him, drunk women falling into him. He shrugs them off, makes his way down the hall, towards the door at other end. A faint glowing sign above it says exit and he pushes against the metal bar, slips out into the alley behind it. The air is muggy, thick with the scent of cigarettes and booze, mixed with the distinct smell of trash.

He looks around, careful of homeless people, of passed out drunks before walking over to the dumpster. Eren sets his backpack on the ground behind it, crouches and pulls out a small bag, a purse with a metal chain for a strap. He hangs it over his shoulder, pushes a can and some trash up around the backpack, makes sure it’s well hidden.

The brunette hurries down the alley, out into the open air. A street light flickers near the bar as he starts to walk in the opposite direction. Eren grins as a car drives past, a breeze catching the wig and blowing the strands back from his face. He reaches the corner, pulls a pack of cigarettes out of his bag, cocks his hip to the side, flaunts his legs as he searches for his lighter.

A car drives by, honks and he grins, slips the cigarette between his lips. Eren pulls his lighter out, flicks the dial on it and makes the small flame appear. He lights the end of the stick, inhales. The lighter is dropped back into the too small bag and Eren turns, starts walking slowly down the street. He holds his arm out, the cigarette between his fingers, watches the cars drive past.

He makes it to the corner after a moment, debates on staying in the area for the night.

Eren knows how to avoid the cops, knows not to walk the same streets every night. He takes a moment to decide which way to go before turning left. Another car zips by, honks as he flicks his cigarette onto the ground. His hair is blown to the side in the wind, tangling the strands just a bit.

He continues on like this, wandering down streets till he finds himself standing on a corner in front of a club. Eren grins to himself, knows that it’s actually a good spot. He looks up at the building, at the double doors and the elaborate words glowing above the entrance.

The Caged Monarch

He crosses his arms over his torso and hums to himself just a bit, watches a rather large man inspect a woman’s purse before letting her into the club. Eren shifts his weight, glances at the line to get into the club.  
“Hey…” Eren’s tapped on the shoulder and he turns, looks at a man, grin slipping onto his face.

“Hey,” he replies, head tilting to the side. “You looking?”

“Yeah.” The man tilts his head to the side of the club, where the cars are parked. He leans down, invades Eren’s personal space. “How much…?” He asks, tone low.

“Depends.” Eren’s eyes spark, can smell the beer on the man’s breathe. “What is it?”

“Let’s talk over there…” The man takes a step towards the lot, waits until Eren follows after him.

-

Eren lights a cigarette and inhales off of it, watches the smoke rise up and into the night air. The club behind him is still blaring music but the street outside is slow, the night coming to an end. His feet are starting to ache a little from the heels. He ignores the feeling, shifts his weight to one leg and stands with his hip out to the side.

He holds his cigarette between his fingers, watches a single car drive by. He hasn’t had any one approach him in a while, and is debating on calling it a night. The brunette has made close to five hundred that night, has it hidden in a special spot in his purse. He places the cigarette between his lips, the lipstick from earlier smeared just a bit on his face.

He inhales slow and easy, pulls it back.

“Hey!” An irritated voice snaps at him from behind.

Eren turns, exhales the smoke in a slow and steady stream. He stares at the dark haired man, dressed in black jeans and a matching long sleeved v neck shirt. He’s short, much shorter then Eren in his heels and it makes the brunette grin, almost.

“Yeah?” He asks, tone low, considerate just in case this man is a customer.

“Get your ass away from my building.” The man snaps, taking a step forward.

“I’m sorry?” Eren turns around fully, skirt sitting up just a bit higher then when he first put it on.

“You heard me bitch, I don’t need the cops coming around my joint. I have enough fucking problems with them to begin with.”

Eren hums in response, breathes in off his cigarette again. “I don’t attract them.” He says after a moment.

“Oh don’t give me that shit, my bouncer has watched you pick up men all night.” The man snaps, tone low and dangerous.

“Relax fucker, I won’t be here tomorrow. I don’t hit the same spots night after night.”

“I don’t want you here at fucking all. Never again.”

Eren lowers his cigarette, studies the man a second, amused. He looks down at what’s left of his smoke, flicks it at the other, “When you need a good fuck or want to get off, come looking for me.” He takes a step closer, flaunts his height over him. “I’ll give you a good discount.” The man looks appalled and a bit disgusted from the offer, but doesn’t move. Eren smirks at this before turning and heading back the way he came.

-

In shorts that are too small, a shirt that is too big, Eren is standing on the corner waiting for the light to change. He has the same wig on, the same smeared lipstick as before. His shoes are different, are a pair of shiny black pumps. He has a pair of thigh highs on again, ones that don’t need a garter belt to stay up, a small purse hanging from his shoulder.

The light changes and he makes his way across the street, casual, synthetic hair flowing behind him.

Eren’s in a rather good mood, has made a good amount of money already and it’s still early. He hasn’t seen a single cop all night, hasn’t encountered any problems from his customers just yet. The brunette adjusts the strap of his purse and watches as a black car zooms down the street past him. There’s the sound of it coming to a sudden stop and it causes Eren to stop, turn to see if they almost crashed.

The reverse lights flip on and it backs up rather fast.

A 67 black mustang.

Eren hums to himself, eyeing the vehicle and its condition. The driver has to have some serious cash to keep it in such good shape. He licks his teeth and walks forward, watches the window roll down and he leans in, ass out and teasing.

He frowns seeing the driver glare at him, the same man from the previous night at the club. Eren gives a small sigh, business is business, he thinks to himself. “Change your mind?” He asks, voice teasing, masking his slight irritation at the look he’s being given.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m sorry?” Eren replies, still trying to be polite.

“What. The. Fuck. Are. You. Doing.” The man says, irritation clear on his face. His tone irks the brunette and he leans back some.

“Look if you’re not buying, keep going.” Eren hits the side of the car with mild force and stands back up.

“Never said I wasn’t buying.”

He leans back down, synthetic hair caught on his shoulder. He stares at the man, holds his gaze, vaguely confused. “Then what the fuck do you want?”

“First tell me what the fuck you think you’re doing.”

“I’m fucking working.” Eren deadpans back, expression dropping. He feels like the man has something lose in his head. “What the fuck else would I be doing.”

“Don’t ever fucking come over here again.” The dark haired man all but growls, unlocks the doors. “Now get the fuck in, and don’t get your diseases on my leather.”

“Fuck you too.” Eren leans back, turns and the man revs the engine some to get his attention.

“I’ll pay whatever the fuck you want to get in the goddamn car.” He snaps. That has the brunette’s attention as he stares at him, eyes flicking around the vehicle. The man has to have money judging from its appearance, from the alterations that have been made.

“What, do you own this area too?” He asks, confrontational, slightly peeved at the tone being used on him.

“Get in.”

“Fuck no.”

“Get. In.” The man grits out through clenched teeth, eyes flicking to his rear view mirror.

“I don’t need your fucking money.” Eren moves away from the window again, and the car is revved once more.

“Name a price.” The tone the other uses is something exasperated, and the brunette is leaning back down, looking in again. He watches as the dark haired man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a wad of money, a large wad.

The door is opened and Eren sits down, gentle, crosses his legs and pulls the door shut. “Fist give me a hundred for wasting my goddamn time.”

He’s given a look, something along the lines of _“Are you fucking serious?”_ before the man slips a hundred out and hands it to him. Eren grins and takes it, opens his small purse and tucks it inside. He turns back to the other, all smiles and sultry eyes, “So my dearest sullen one, what would you like?”

The car is pulled back onto the street and the man shifts gears, bringing them back up to speed.

“Levi – my name is Levi.” He says, irritation still apparent on his face. “Yours?”

“What would you like it to be?” Eren slides over on the seat, hands slipping onto Levi’s leg as he shifts gears again. He grabs the brunette’s hand and tosses it off his leg. “Your name.” He growls out.

Eren heaves a sigh and rolls his eyes. “Why?”

“Name.”

“It’s private.”

“You fuck for money, name.” The man demands.

Eren crosses his arms, glares out the window. A twenty is tossed at him and his expression slips into a pleasant smile. “My name is Eren.”

Levi nods, expression still irritated. The brunette reaches back over and trails fingers up his leg, teasing and gentle. “So what would you like tonight?”

“Don’t fucking come to this area again.”

That catches Eren off guard and his hand stops. “What?”

“This area. Don’t come here again.”

Eren leans back and crosses his arms, glares out the window. “Let me out now.” He says.

“No.”

“Fucking let me out if you aren’t going to buy anything.”

“I gave you a hundred and twenty already.”

“Let. Me. Out.” Eren turns and glares at Levi, watches as the man makes no move to slow the car down. He grabs at the stick shift, jerks it and the man’s hand, knocking it back down into neutral successfully stalling the car. “Not buying shit, I’m not going anywhere.” He hisses in a deadly tone.

“You fucking crazy bitch!” Levi grabs at the front of Eren’s shirt and a second later there’s a very sharp blade press up against his neck, the car still rolling to a stop.

“Unlock the doors and let me the fuck out.”

Levi let’s go of Eren’s shirt, turns to the dashboard again, hands gripping the wheel, knuckles turning white. He hits the break and the second they stop the brunette is up and out of the car. The door is slammed shut, loud and forceful.

“Hey assfuck.” He says, getting Levi to turn and look at him.

There’s a pshhhh sound and the man lets out an angry shriek, arms flying up to cover his face. “YOU COCK SUCKING BITCH!” He screams, eyes burning suddenly from the pepper spray.

“Don’t fuck with me again.” Eren’s voice is smug as he steps out of his heels, grabs them and makes a mad dash for the nearest alley, disappearing into the darkness.

-

Eren’s wearing a very small leather skirt that clings to his hips, torn fishnet thigh highs and a pair of black thigh high boots. He has a large cardigan draped over his shoulders, hands in the pockets as he walks down the street.  The brunette has a different wig on today, one that’s wavy and a lighter brown. He reaches up and pushes the bangs from his eyes, watches the cars drive past.

A silver vehicle slows down to a crawl before pulling off to the side just past him. He watches the window roll down before walking over and leaning down. The man inside isn’t all that appealing to him, has dark hair and a five o clock shadow growing in.

He turns and looks at Eren, eyes scanning over him.

“How much?”

“For?” Eren is casual, calm, as he crouches down beside the vehicle.

“Quick blow.”

“30.”

The man pulls his wallet out and fishes the money out. The passenger door opens and Eren is climbing in. He takes the money as the car is pulled back onto the street and they drive off. New customers complain about the price, ones who have been with Eren before never question it, ones who have heard about him from others are all too eager to comply.

-

Eren manages to find himself near a club around 3 am, jaw aching a bit. He’s standing off to the side of the building with a cigarette between his lips, listening to the music flowing from the front doors. He hasn’t made that much that night, has mostly been asked for blow jobs left and right and he’s getting tired of it. The brunette takes the cigarette from his lips and exhales the smoke out, watches it waft in the air before noticing a familiar car.

A black mustang.

He looks to his right, towards the front of the building, eyes scanning the area.

Right, he was here a few days ago.

It’s a far cry from where he started his night, a few miles in the other direction. Eren isn’t going to complain, he knows that he can get business from this club. Almost as if on cue a man comes from the building, glances over at him. The brunette grins around his cigarette, eyes dark.

“Hey baby,” The man’s voice is charming, alluring almost as he starts towards him. “What are you doing out here all by yourself?”

Eren just grins, removes the cigarette from his lips. “Selling.” He says.

The man’s grin stretches wide across his face. “Selling? What do you have to offer?” He leans forward, arm on the wall as he looms over Eren, invading his space.

“Everything has a price.” He flicks his ashes off to the side, careful not to get them on himself.

Another grin is what he receives, wide and sinister. “I’ve got something fun if you want to do a trade.”

Eren hums in response, head tilting to the side, waiting to hear more.

“Come on doll, lemme show you a good time.”

“Okay.” The man slides his hand down the brunette’s side, slips it around to the small of his back, leads him towards his vehicle, a large SUV.

-

White powder scrapped into a line.

Eren leans down and presses a finger to his left nostril, inhales up the strip. He groans at the burn, leans back and rubs his nose, head spinning.

“Fuck man.” He breathes out, eyes glossy, loving the sensation.

“I know.” The man is behind him, hands roaming up and down his sides, fingers curling around his hips. “Do another – you look so hot.”

And Eren does, leans down and inhales another line.

He starts to lose himself, starts to become disorganized in his mind. He breathes out a contented sigh, can feel hands on his hips, on his ass cupping and squeezing him. Eren’s flipped around, knees spreading as he he’s pulled down.

Hips are ground up and he can feel the dick pressing against him.

“What d’ya want?” He hums, head tilting back some.

“Those damn pretty lips on me.”

Eren giggles, flat out giggles and slides off the man’s lap, onto the floorboard of the vehicle.

-

He doesn’t know what time it is when crawls from the man’s SUV and makes his way back to the wall where he was standing before.

It has to be late, much later then before since the parking lot is almost empty. Eren stumbles against the wall and slides down it, head spinning. He finds himself sitting on the ground, skirt bunching up too high on his thighs. Eren giggles and reaches for his purse, fumbles with the zipper a moment before managing to grasp it and pull.

There’s footsteps off to his side but Eren doesn’t care, doesn’t give a fuck about anything. He’s higher than he’s ever been before, did too many lines and he can barely get his hands to work right.  A shadow looms over him and he takes a moment before he looks up, eyes failing to focus.

“Are you fucking shitting me?”

The voice is familiar and Eren giggles again, legs pulling as he scrunches into a ball.

“It’s you again.” He manages to say, eyes turning back to his purse, only half recognizing who it is.

“Look at me.”

He ignores the demand, tries to focus on making his hands work, on pulling his cigarettes out. He’s having a hard time of it though, hands failing to grab the item he wants. Fingers grab his chin and turn his head, pull it up.

“Whadda fuck man?” He snaps, words slurring as he tries to pull away. Eren manages to crack his head against the wall and it causes him to make a pained sound that somehow morphs into laughter. His head it grabbed again, face turned as one of his eyes is pried open as he tries to squeeze them shut.

“Stap – shit fucka!” Eren hisses.

“You’re higher than a mother fuckin’ kite.”

His head is let go and hands grab at his biceps, pulling him up.  Eren tries to pull himself back, is trapped between the wall and the man in front of him.

“Fuck lemma go!” He hisses, hands fumbling and pushing weakly at the chest before him.

“I’m not fucking leaving your dumbass out here.” Eren wiggles in the other’s hands, eyes unfocused and head spinning as he tries to free himself. He’s disoriented and can’t figure out how to get his body to work right. It takes him a moment but he ends up biting at an arm and steps down hard with the heel of his boot.

There’s a pained hiss from the other and a second later Eren finds himself crumpled on the cement.

“Fucking bitch, I’m trying to help your dumbass.” He’s pulled up again, this time by an arm wrapped around his waist. He’s hoisted up, held in such a way that he can’t do much but wiggle. Eren lets out a yelp and starts shouting, hands pulling and pushing at anything he can grab.

“Puh me’h DOWN!” He screeches, manages to somehow kick the man in the shin. He’s dropped again, or almost dropped as he‘s hoisted back up.

“Shut the fuck up EREN!” The man shouts and the brunette goes almost limp in his arms. “Fuck look at me!” He pulls the brunettes head up, checking to make sure he hasn’t passed out.

“How ya know…?” Eren is trying hard to focus, to look into the others cool grey eyes.

“You fucking told me.”

He’s shifted in the man’s grip, turned towards the cars in the parking lot.

“Now stop fucking screaming before the cops show up. Neither of us want that.”

Eren nods, turns his head to try and look at the man. He sees too many faces every night, too many people while working, doesn’t bother to try and remember them. He’s nudged forward, stumbles as he’s moved away from the building. His purse is in the man’s hand that’s wrapped around his waist, the one that is holding him up, directing him.

He’s leaned up against a vehicle, and that’s when Eren seems to get it, when it seems to click in his drugged up mind.

Eren doesn’t remember faces, he remembers cars.

The black mustang.

“…’s you.” He starts to sag against vehicle when the passenger door is opened, when he’s moved into place and sat down, buckled in.

“Levi. I told you my name is Levi.” Eren’s purse is dropped into his lap as the door is pushed shut. He slouches in the seat, sagging down as far as the seat belt will allow. The driver’s door is opened up and Levi climbs in, pulls it shut.  Eren’s head is lifted again, eyes inspected. “Don’t fucking pass out on me, I don’t want to have to fucking carry you inside.”

Eren mumbles a reply but it’s already too late, he’s starting to lose himself, vision slipping. He giggles though, smile stretching across his lips as Levi glares down at him. “S’rry Levi.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a tad text heavy but it's to show how he lives.
> 
> Cross posted on my main tumblr Determinederen
> 
> I also RP as this Eren on Trashybitcheren if you would like more interaction with this messed up version of him

 

_It’s a whisper of a thought, soft memories muddled with the flow of time._

_A plush carpet and long halls_

_Vaulted ceilings and chandeliers_

_The scent of something delicious cooking_

  _Large beds and expensive furniture_

_Toys piled upon toys_

_The bright smile and glowing green eyes_

_Arms wrapped around him_

_Tight and secure_

_Darkness seeping in, like poison_

_Distant screams_

_Free flowing tears_

Eyes snap open and Eren sits up, lightning fast and chest heaving. His head is spinning and he feels nauseated, sick. He rolls over on the bed and gasps, gags. He groans as he feels it rise up in his throat, bile, and he starts to puke, acid and nothing else. Eren whines as he spits mouthfuls onto the tiled floor, head spinning and body aching.

“Fuck…” He manages, hand reaching up and wiping his mouth.

The room is dimly lit, a lamp on a small night stand next to the bed, on the side where he just vomited on the floor. Green eyes glance around and he sees that he’s alone, that it’s a small motel room. He doesn’t remember how he got there, shifts on the bed. Eren’s body is weak and he’s starting to feel a bit of panic and disorientation.

His stomach lurches again and he can’t stop it, dry heaves onto the floor once more, throat burning and eyes stinging. His head throbs, and he recalls the man in the SUV, remembers the white lines. Eren wipes his face on the sheet of the bed and stands, legs weak as he stumbles over to his purse sitting next to the old television, his boots crumpled on the ground.

He pulls his shoes on, zips them up and grabs his small purse, flees the room.

-

The sun is bright as he hastily walks away from the motel, keeps his head down and eyes on his feet as he walks. He clutches the small purse to his chest, glances up every now and then. The side walk is empty and there are only a few cars that drive by. Eren wants to get as far from the motel as he can, wants to get back to his bag hidden in a distant alley as fast as possible.

It’s still early, the sun still rising and casting long shadows between buildings.

Eren turns and disappears down an alley, starts to take the winding passage down the street, hidden from view. He doesn’t stop, doesn’t let himself dwell on all the possible things that could have happened, just thinks about how he’s still there and still breathing and – He stumbles, heel catching on a rock on the ground and he drops down, hand flying up to grab at the grimy wall.

The brunette takes in a shuttering breath, head spinning and he gags again, spits out bile onto the concrete, chest heaving and lungs aching. His body is tingling, nerves on fire as he feels it set in, the symptoms of withdrawal. Eren hates it, hates the feeling of coming off anything and everything, hates the twisting in his gut, hates the dizziness, hates the depression that follows after. He shifts, leans up against the building and sits in the alley, head tilting back and eyes staring up at the sky, mind drifting

_Eren remembers a gruff voice_

  _Sturdy hands_

  _The scent of tobacco_

  _A room that smells of old books_

_Is struck with the familiar feeling_

_Of falling apart_

He sits there for a long time, chest aching and eyes damp, watches as the sun slowly creeps over the top of the building. His limbs ache and he doesn’t want to move, wishes that he didn’t remember what day it was, didn’t make such promises long ago. The brunette squeezes his eyes shut, takes a shuttering breath and forces the fragmented thoughts back. He turns and pulls himself up, takes another breath and hits the wall with the side of his fist.

“Fucking suck it up.” Eren says it to himself, hits the wall again and blinks, feels the stinging sensation of a cut on his hand, realizes that he’s scrapped his skin. He shakes the sensation out, fingers flexing, before turning and walking away.

-

It takes him almost an hour to get to the bar that he changed at, to shove the trash aside and pull a faded blue backpack out from the heap. Eren pulls it open and rummages inside, sees that nothing is missing and tosses his purse in. He slings the bag over his shoulder and disappears back into the alley, the way he came.

The distant sounds of the city are growing, the street sounding lively and the collective noise of talking, of phones ringing, of shoes on concrete. Eren comes to the edge of an alley, is just shy of a back street. He clutches the straps to his bag and peers out around the corner, dashes across the street when he can and into another alley.

He walks fast, quick, and looks behind himself as he turns the corner. He comes to a chain link fence separating the alley from private property. He pulls at the metal links, creating a gap and slips past, onto the other side. The metal makes a loud clanging noise as it falls back into place behind him. Eren walks over to a building, to an old rusted door and pushes against it, hard, watches as it creaks open.

Just enough and he slips inside, pulls it shut behind him.

The building is eerily silent as Eren cautiously walks farther inside, steps slow as he navigates the darkness, the abandoned space. Strips of daylight seep in through cracks on the boards covering up the windows as he makes his way to a staircase, follows it up to the second and then third floor, walks down a barren hall. The brunette nudges a door open and steps into an old apartment, littered with bags and various items.

He pushes the door shut with the heel of his boot and takes a quick look around, makes sure that he’s alone before sitting down on the old dingy carpet, sunlight pouring in from an open window. He pulls the shoes off, the stockings on his legs, tosses the wig to the side, near a small pile of a few others in varying shades and cuts. Eren tugs his clothes off, leaves them in a pile on the floor. He pulls on a pair of worn jeans and walks towards the bathroom, looks at himself in the cracked mirror.

He has no bruises, no marks that he can see, just smeared kohl liner, a faint red of lipstick on his face.

Eren rubs at his skin till it’s gone, till he looks like a normal boy, till he looks like the awkward teenager that he really is. He turns, walks back to where he has left his things, strewn about what once was a living room. He pulls on an old dark green shirt, soft and faded over time, runs his fingers through his hair till it’s no longer sticking to his head. The brunette sits down on the ground and pulls the small purse out, empties it onto the floor. Cigarettes and a lighter tumble out, a few condoms and lube, a prepaid phone that flips open… a few crumpled bills… He flips the small bag inside out completely, tugs at the internal liner just a bit and reveals a small hole. Eren slips his fingers inside and pulls out more money, drops it into the small pile.

He straightens each bill out meticulously, places them in a pile and orders them, largest to smallest. He starts to count, frowns at the total. Eren recounts the stack, and then counts again, mentally going through how much he should have. The numbers don’t match up and he makes a frustrated sound, stomach gurgling and begging for food.

Eren ignores it and lays the money out, counts.

Twenty, fourty, sixty, eighty…

One hundred, two hundred, three hundred...

Six hundred, seven hundred, eight hundred…

He stares at it, can’t figure out where the extra 250 came from, doesn’t remember how the crumpled bills came to be. He hides all the money he gets as soon as possible. The brunettes stomach growls again and he reaches for the cigarettes, pulls one out and lights it, inhales. His stomach stops twisting with the nicotine and he grabs for his prepaid phone, flips it open and checks the time.

It’s almost eleven.

Eren tosses the phone back into the small purse, starts collecting some of his belongings. He tosses clothes into his bag, some socks and his cigarettes, the money, a black hoodie and zips it up. He rummages through a pile of woman’s clothing, pulls out some socks that appear fairly clean and tug them on. Eren tugs on a pair of old sneakers and grabs his backpack.

He slips out of the apartment, quiet as he makes his way down stairs and out into the alley.

-

Eren navigates the alleys with ease, hopping over trash and climbing chain link fences. He darts across small streets and avoids the main road, goes through an abandoned factories lot. It takes him a little while to reach the suburbs, to come across a decent looking neighborhood surrounded by a large brick wall. The brunette walks along it, hand out stretched and fingers feeling the rough texture.

He remembers walking back from school, taking the same path, remembers thinking that it was such a long walk…

It feels short now, brief compared to the trek through downtown to get there.  He comes to a break in the wall, a large sign displaying the communities name, _‘Lake Sina, a deed restricted community’_ turns and follows the sidewalk inside. The neighborhood is filled with moderately sized houses, all painted nice with manicured lawns and washed cars parked in the driveway. Everything is clean and well kept, is a sharp contrast to the abandoned building he came from, the dirty motel rooms with paint peeling on the walls…

Eren passes a house with the garage door open, a woman walking a small child in a stroller, a man mowing his lawn. Everything is clean and nice, is so perfect. It makes him smile as he comes to a house on the corner of a smaller street, painted a pale yellow and trimmed in white. The drive way is empty and the windows all have their blinds drawn shut. Eren makes his way up the drive way and towards the side of the house. The gate to the back yard is open and he slips in behind it.

The back yard is nice, the grass cut and a small garden off to the side. There’s a shed tucked in the corner and a patio set closer to the house. The brunette walks through the backyard to the other side of the house, where the fence doesn’t open. He comes to the window and pushes up on the glass, watches as it slides up and clicks into place at the top. He pushes the blinds back and peers in, sees nothing in the way and pushes his backpack inside. Eren hoists himself up on the ledge and crawls in through the window, taps his feet together before stepping inside. He tugs the window back down and lets the blinds fall back into place.

The house is silent, quiet as he toes his shoes off, walks over to the bed. Eren sets his backpack down and unzips it, pulls the money out. He counts out a hundred and sets it atop a dark wood dresser, walks out of the room and into the hall. He moves into the room just down the hall, the furniture white with soft red accents, with hints of navy blue here and there. The furniture has a more feminine feel, holds the scent of faint cherry blossoms.

Eren counts out another hundred in twenty dollar bills and sets it atop the dresser with a vanity, leaves the room. He goes into the one at the end of the hall, stops. The room is clean and well kept, the furniture older than those in the other two rooms, used and the fabric on the bed well worn. Eren breathes in, counts out 350 and sets it on the dresser, takes the rest of the money and starts hiding it. He slips a twenty into the pants pocket of a pair in the laundry basket, fishes around for a pair of jeans and hides another there.

The brunette stands and heads over to the night stand and opens the top drawer. It’s cluttered and filled with various papers, miscellaneous items. He puts another twenty inside, tucked under the upper paper. He moves over to the closet and opens it, scans the clothing inside, the jackets and thin coats hanging up, places some money in the pocket of one that looks used recently. Eren continues on like this, hiding money in various places around the house, in the laundry room and even the living room.

All places that if found the other two people living there won’t touch.

Eren walks back to the bedroom and fishes his prepaid phone out and plugs it in the wall to charge.  He pulls out some clothes and shakes them, dislodging the wrinkles. He takes the fresher and mostly clean clothes to the bathroom and shuts the door. He brushes his teeth with a tooth brush hidden under the sink and takes a quick shower. He scrubs his hair, his scalp with his blunt nails, rubs his skin with a stiff loofa till he’s red and feels almost like he’s clean.

Almost because he never really feels clean these days.

The water is shut off and Eren dries his hair the best he can, changes into the clean clothes. He picks up the bathroom, hangs the towel back up, and walks out into the kitchen, opens the fridge and stares inside. He shuts it a moment later and walks over to the pantry, eyes scanning over for something quick to eat. He sees a blue box and grabs for the pop tarts, doesn’t care what flavor. Eren shovels the food into his mouth and tosses the wrapper.

He walks back to the bedroom and pulls the door shut, unplugs the phone and puts it inside his bag, hides it in an invisible pocket he’s made in the bag. The brunette climbs into the bed, pulls the blankets up and curls up on his side.  Eren relaxes into the mattress, eyes shut and mind slipping as he drifts off.

-

It’s hours later when the brunette starts to come to, hears the door to the house open and shut, listens to familiar voices talking, soft foot steps down the hall and the door to the room he’s in opens. The house goes quiet again and Eren continues to sleep, only vaguely aware of what’s happening around him. There’s the soft sound of a bag being set down and the bed dips, arms wrapping around him.

“…Hey Armin…” The words are called out as someone approaches the room.

“Mikasa…” the boy behind him breathes out, arms tightening around Eren’s form. The bed shifts and there’s a soft press to his forehead, a kiss, gentle. A second set of arms wrap around him and Eren breathes in, a soft sound slipping out, pleased. He sleeps a little longer like this, curled up in Armin’s bed with the blond pressed up against his back, with Mikasa holding him from the front.

For a while neither say anything, just listen to the brunette breathing softly between them.

“…did you see it?” Mikasa whispers after a little while. “He brought us money again…”

“…no I didn’t…” Armin peaks over at the female, their eyes meeting. “…you wanna give it to him now?”

Eren squirms under the two and Mikasa nods, stands up from the bed and leaves the room. Armin nudges the brunette, “Hey,” He calls softly. “Eren come on, wake up…” The blankets shift as the other squirms.

“…time s’it?” He mumbles, groggy sounding.

“Almost five.” Armin sits up and starts to pull the blankets down, much to the others displeasure.

“s’five?”

“Yeah…”

“She be home soon?” Eren peels his eyes open and blinks in a daze, stares up at the white ceiling.

“Not for a few more hours.” Armin smiles down at the brunette, a pair of glasses perched on his nose. “She had a doctor’s appointment.” Eren nods as Mikasa walks back into the room. She sits down on the edge of the bed, a small bag in her hands. He pushes himself up onto his elbows and stares at the girl, smiles lightly.

“Your hairs longer.”

Mikasa blinks and looks down, a faint color to her face. “That a bad thing?” She asks softly, looking away.

“Naw, s’long as it doesn’t get in the way.” Eren sits up the rest of the way, reaches up and stretches. He’s still groggy, could sleep for a couple more hours except doesn’t want to, would rather spend the rest of the evening awake and with these two. He leans back against the pillows, head pressing against the wall.

“We got you a gift.” Armin says a second later, a grin on his face, bright and real. Eren looks at him, feels a bit like he’s looking into the sun with how bright it is, with how innocent and real the smaller teen is. He swallows and tries to fight back the weird sense of panic in his chest.

“A gift?”

Mikasa nods, is smiling as well, but in a far more reserved manner. She hands him the bag she was holding, watches eagerly as he slowly pulls the item out. Eren can feel the cool plastic, the solid weight as he stares down at it, at a touch screen phone in a sturdy case.

“We all have one.” Armin says after a moment. “Mom said that if we paid the bill then she didn’t mind setting it up for us.”

“We put our numbers in your phone already.” Mikasa moves to sit on the other side of Eren, shows him how to unlock the screen. “We set up the wallpaper and various little things for you too.”

The brunette looks down, stares at the display screen and smiles, small and real. It’s a picture of the three of them, back when they were almost thirteen, when they had promised to never part. He sighs, doesn’t know who he wants to hug first.

“So are you hungry?” Armin asks after a second, “I was going to make some pizza for dinner.” The blond tugs on Eren’s arm, urging him to stand. “And it’s not the frozen kind, I bought the stuff to make the dough and everything.”

“Ah sure…” The brunette crawls out from under the blankets, stands and Mikasa stares at him, watches the way his pants sit on his hips, how they sag down just a bit. She looks over at Armin and they share a look; both knowing, both concerned.

-

Eren is sitting in the living room an hour later, feet perched on the edge of the couch and plate sitting beside him. He has his knees pulled up and is staring at the television, watching some show Armin put on as he does some homework next to him. Mikasa comes into the room and picks the empty plate up and carries it to the kitchen.

For a moment it feels right, normal, like Eren never left, and it eases the worry in Mikasa’s chest, the constant fear that sits in the back of Armin’s mind.

The three have come to an agreement. Eren is to go to school at least three days the week, is to check in at the group home. If he doesn’t they refuse to take the money he brings, don’t leave the window open or the back gate. Eren hates having to go back, hates having to check in. Part of him wishes he could just run away, just continue on as he is. He stopped caring about himself a long time ago, so long as the other two were safe, had a home and were taken care of.

Lights shine in the drive way and a car pulls up. Mikasa loads the dishwasher and closes it, switches it on and goes to sit in the living room. She sits next to Eren, loops her arm with his and leans her head on his shoulder. “I have a competition next week. Coach has me on sprinting for my main event.”

The brunette blinks, turns to look at her. “Yeah?”

“I’d like if you would go.” Her question is met with a stiffening of muscles, something she expected.

“Yeah, you can text it to me, the day and time.” Eren can’t say no, still wants to be a part of her life as much as he wants to be a part of Armin’s. The lock on the front door is clicked open and it creaks just a little, is pushed shut behind a woman as she enters the living room. She set’s her purse down on the coffee table and sits in the empty chair off to the side.

Her brown hair is pulled up into a messy pony tail, glasses perched on her nose. She leans back, exhausted, slouching in her seat. “Hi Eren…” Her voice drawls out, weak as she raises her hand and waves at him.

“Hello Hanji.” He says, body still tense, uncomfortable almost. “How are you?”

Mikasa doesn’t move, holds onto Eren, keeps him in place, knows that when he stands he’ll leave again, might not come back for another week.

“I’m good, tired as usual…” She glances over at the television, a frown on her face. “Want a ride back to the house?” It’s getting close to his curfew and she knows it.

“I can walk.”

“You’ll be late.” Hanji leans forward, picks her purse up and slings it over her shoulder. “Come on, I’ll drive you back and you can tell me how school's been.”

Mikasa finally lets go of Eren, watches as he walks back towards Armin’s room, the one he used to share, and picked his bag up, realizes that it crinkles just a bit. The brunette frowns as he sets it on the bed, unzips the top and stares inside.

Clean clothes, folded, and small plastic bags of various foods sitting atop.

“You’re getting thin.” Armin’s voice is soft as he stands in the doorway, nervous as he looks away. “I thought you might like some of those, you used to…”

Eren zips the bag up and puts it on his back. He walks over and kisses the smaller blond on the forehead. “Thanks.” He says, feels a hand wrap around his wrist.

“I uh, took the cigarettes, you shouldn’t be smoking, it’s bad for you.”

“I know, it just helps…”

“You’re never going to be able to run again if you keep smoking.”

“I’ll be fine.” Eren slips from Armin’s grasp, walks back into the living room, and follows Hanji outside and to her car.

-

The car drive is slow, quiet for the most part, Hanji humming along with the radio and asking small questions. She makes the drive with ease, seems just like her old self, except for the darker circles under her eyes, the lines that appear when she smiles. She’s thinner, much like he is, but for reasons she can’t control.

“How have you been…?” Eren asks, looking out the window, watching the buildings slide past.

“I’ve been okay…” Hanji gives a smile, but it falls at the look she’s given. The woman shakes her head. “I haven’t been sleeping much and my weight’s been going down. They took some blood today for a few tests, want me to go back in a week for some scans…”

“I see…”

“Eren…” Her voice is soft, and she glances over at him.

“I left my paycheck on your dresser.” The car goes silent and her hands slide on the wheel, hold it from the bottom.

“I wish you would just focus on school, to graduate and…”

“You need the money.” Eren twists in his seat, hates how this conversation goes. It’s the same every time, something he tries to avoid. He loves the woman, the one who tried her best to adopt him with Armin and Mikasa… Hanji flips her blinker on and pulls into the parking lot of a large building, something that looks similar to a school, that has large words written across the front.

_Stohess Children’s home_

Eren waits for the car to stop as he undoes his seatbelt and opens the door. He’s out of the car before Hanij has even managed to get her own seatbelt undone, is staring at him through the window. “Eren,” She calls as he shuts the door.

“I’m fine, I can check in myself.” He smiles at her, large and bright, walks around to the driver’s side of the car.

“Are you sure?” Hanji is pouting, rolls the window down and leans out. “I mean, I can come inside for a few minutes if you’d like?” The teen just shakes his head, leans down and presses a kiss to the woman’s forehead.

“Naw, its fine. I’ll see you tomorrow after school if you’d like?” He’s still smiling, bright, and reassuring to the woman.

“Yeah, I’ll make dinner tomorrow! Anything you’d like?”

Eren shakes his head, hands curling around the straps of his backpack.  “Anything you pick I’ll like.” He takes a step back, knows that he’s probably late already.

“Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

The brunette turns and hurries up the steps to the building, pulls the door open and steps inside. His smile drops from his face, eyes losing a bit of their shine. He looks irritated as he steps into the fluorescent lighting. A woman with strawberry blond hair glances up from the front counter, eyes widening at the sight of him.

“Oh god! Eren!” She jumps up from her seat and runs around the counter, stops short, hand clutching her heart. “You’re back…”

“Yeah.” The brunette has taken a step back at her sudden movement, weary of her proximity. He watchers her hand move up to her face, tears in her eyes.

“I was worried,” She breathes out.

“You always are Petra.” He slides his bag off his shoulders and holds it out to her. “Now check it so I can go to my room.”

The woman sighs and takes it from him, careful not to touch his hand. She knows better, has learned in the past. Everyone has learned. She walks around the counter and sets the bag down, starts to go through it, careful and meticulous.

She doesn’t find the hidden pocket, just passes it back to him.

Eren takes it and disappears farther into the building, makes his way down the hall towards the small shared room he has. He sits down on the bed, sets his bag on the floor next to him and lies back. Eren stares up at the ceiling, at the pictures he’s tapped up there, images of Armin and Mikasa with him. There’s laughter in the background, the sound of a television on a cartoon show, familiar sounds, things that he’s grown so used to that is makes his skin crawl.

“Well look who came slinking back in.”

Green eyes turn towards the door, at a tall girl with tan skin and freckles. She’s grinning at him, eyes dark.

“Fuck off Ymir.” Eren says with little malice.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Levi will be back soon, promise...
> 
> And if you see any errors please let me know


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need a beta if anyone is interested

It’s early out, the sun hasn’t quite risen and there’s dew clinging to the windows. The sky is overcast, gloomy and threatening rain. The ground’s moist, a certain dampness still on the side walk, the concrete steps out back. Eren’s sitting on a torn piece of card board, a worn green shirt hanging loosely over his frame. He leans forward, spine curving as he rests his arms on his legs pulls them closer towards his body.  There’s a cigarette dangling between his fingers, half burnt and he brings it to his lips.

Green eyes fall shut as he inhales off it. The nicotine calms him, the constant jittery sensation in his gut. He wants something more, stronger, something to numb him. It’s a growing constant in his life, a need that is creeping up on him. Eren parts his lips and exhales, watches the smoke curl up into the cool air. He makes a mental note to get his jacket before he leaves for the day.

“You should probably have breakfast too.”  Ymir says. She’s sitting at the top of the small stairs, opposite side of Eren, torn jeans hanging low on her hips, a black shirt with a bands logo clinging to her chest. “I’ll go get it if you’re too lazy to go back in.”

“Not hungry.” Eren replies, flicks his ashes off to the side. Ymir rolls her eyes behind him, brings her own cigarette to his lips.

“Ya never are.” She comments, eyes trailing over his back. The brunette just shrugs, eyes staring off at the parking lot before them, at the large dumpster out back. Silence settles back between them and they can hear people moving about inside the building behind them.

“I want something else.”

Ymir looks back at Eren, a frown on her face. She tilts her head to the side, “Yeah?”

“Small, blue and oval.” He says, inhales again.

“How much?” She leans forward, elbows resting on her knees. Her hair is still lose, hangs around her face and she tucks some behind her ear.

“Enough for today and tomorrow.” Eren’s stomach twists again because he knows he’s lying but the jittery uncertainty is too much and he wants to hide. He doesn’t know from what though.

“You got any money?”

“Next week. I’ll bring the cigarettes too.”

Ymir doesn’t say anything, stubs the butt of her cigarette out onto the stone ground and flicks it into the parking lot. She doesn’t move yet, knows all too well about the brunettes personal space, knows that if he’s asking for something then…

“We should get going.” Eren is looking at his phone, knows that they’ll get reprimanded if found outback.

“Yeah – I’ll come find you at lunch.” She doesn’t move, watches as he stands and takes one more drag off his cigarette before dropping it. He steps on it and heads around the building, to the window they crawled out of. Ymir sighs and looks up at the sky before following after.

-

Eren’s late, like he always is. He walks into the class a minute after the bell rings and heads towards the empty seat in the back. He drops his bag beside him and sits down, uncaring of the looks he’s being given. The teacher gives a small sigh and makes a mark on their attendance. “It’s good to see you Jeager.” He says, and genuinely means it.

The brunette doesn’t reply, leans back and rests his arms over his desk. He isn’t asked about homework, isn’t told to stay after class. He knows this one has given up on him passing, that he stopped trying a few months ago. The class starts and Eren watches as if it were a commercial on TV, vague interest that’s quickly drawn away. It isn’t long before he notices a girl in the class looking back at him, eyes curious and running over his form.

It makes his gut twist and he crosses his arms over his chest, uncomfortable. Eren feels like he met her before, like she might have been friends with Mikasa, might have been someone he spoke to in the past. He doesn’t remember faces anymore, doesn’t want to remember. When she looks away he can feel the tension slide out of him and he slouches in his seat, tries to make himself as small as possible.

The bell rings and he pulls his eyes open, realizes that he started to drift off. Eren leans forward and rests his elbows on the desk, presses his palms to his eyes. His skin itches and he can _feel_ everyone moving around him. He grabs his bag and stands, walks past his teacher who doesn’t offer him any kind of homework. Eren slips into the hall and starts navigating his way to his next class, green eyes darting back and forth, hyper aware of those who are close to him.

He walks into the room and sits down in one of the front seats. The brunette moves his bag to sit at his feet and leans forward, elbows tucked close to his body. He keeps his eyes down cast, listens as the bell rings. Class starts, and Eren pulls a pencil out when a work sheet is handed out. He props his head up on his hand as he stares down at the paper, questions being asked of things he doesn’t know, things he missed.

Eren is able to answer a couple of the questions. He closes his eyes after a moment, listens to the light chatter in the room, can hear the faint hushed whispers. There are rumors about him, farfetched lies that have been spread. It used to bother him, used to grate his nerves and upset him. Now he doesn’t care, finds amusement in them. The only thing that upsets him now, that gets a reaction out of him is if Armin or Mikasa are mentioned.

His next class drifts by in a slow pace, the one after that is loud and energetic, the students ready for their lunch break. The second the bell rings everyone stands and hurries out of the room. Eren stays seated, watching until the room is almost empty. He stands and picks his bag up, slings it over his shoulder and heads for the door.

“Eren…” His teacher calls and he turns, looks back at the blond man. “I have assignments for you, to help catch you up in class.”

The teen just stares back at him, a smile on his face. It’s false and mismatched, makes the man’s gut twist. “Thank you.” He says, takes the papers and leaves the room. He walks down the hall, passes a trash can on his way out of the building, tosses the papers in side. Eren heads across the campus towards the football field, the sun bright behind the clouded over sky.  He finds Ymir underneath the bleachers, hair pulled back into a ponytail, a short blonde girl sitting with her.

Eren stops a few steps away from them and Ymir sighs, rolls her eyes. She pulls an open pack of cigarettes from her school bag and sets it on the ground near her. Christa is quiet beside her, blue eyes pointed down at her shoes. She waits till Eren sits and looks over at him. “How are you?” Her question is hesitant, words soft.

“I’m good.” Eren replies, picking the pack up. He sets it in his back, tucks his legs underneath himself.

“You should have lunch with Mikasa and Armin.” Ymir says after a moment.

The brunette just shakes his head. “They’re with friends.” Christa frowns and leans forward, plucks at the grass. “I’ve seen them, you’d be fine.” She says, “None of them have fair hair…”

“No.” Eren says, tone flat.

Ymir gives a sigh and lies back on the grass, arms under her head. “You been going to therapy?” She asks, doesn’t care how blunt she is. The brunette doesn’t say anything, rests his elbows on his thighs and stares off at nothing in particular. Christa turns and unzips her bag, pulls out a small lunch bag, a prepackaged sandwich. She sets it on Ymir’s stomach, who in turns tosses it in Eren’s lap.

“Lunch.” She says. “You’re looking kind of thin.”

“I’m fine.” Eren picks the sandwich up, tugs at the wrapper and pops it open. He bites into it and chews slow.  They sit in silence for a few minutes while he eats, tosses the wrapper off to the side when he finishes. Christa rolls her eyes, makes a mental note to pick it up before they leave.

“You should go today, you know it’ll make them happy.” Ymir tilts her head and looks at Eren, eyes on the back of his head. The jittery sensation in his stomach is back and he feels restless, has this urge to get up and walk away.

“How much did you give me?” He asks, prefers not to talk about it in front of Christa.

“One.” Ymir stares at him still, can see the way his shoulders slump down by just a fraction. “If you need something tomorrow then I’ll give it to you then. You can’t get addicted.”

“Eren…” Christa’s voice is sad, “You should try and go with out –“

“No.” He grabs his bag and stands, walks away from the two. Ymir props herself up on her elbows and watches as he walks away. Christa stands and picks up the wrapper, tucks it inside her bag to throw away later.

“He’s –”

“I know.” Ymir doesn’t need to hear any more to know what the smaller girl is talking about. “But we really can’t do anything about it.”

“We could tell someone?”

“He’ll run away.” The dark haired girl sits up and hugs Christa to her chest. “I did.”

“You almost did.” She corrects.

“Small details. I’m sane because I have you.” Ymir leans down and presses a kiss to Christa’s forehead. “He needs someone to bring him back to reality.”

-

Eren stops once he’s out of sight and pulls his bag around, unzips the pocket he put the cigarette pack in. He opens it out of view and pokes his fingers inside, pulls out the small blue pill. He places it on his tongue and swallows it with ease. Eren heads back towards the school, finds an empty spot and sits down beside the building, back pressed against the cold stone.

He pulls the phone out that Armin and Mikasa gave him, starts to tinker with it, looking through the pictures they loaded onto it. He spends the rest of lunch by himself tucked against the wall and out of site. When the bell rings he doesn’t move right away, waits for the majority of the students to head to their classes before standing. Eren makes his way to his own, slips into the classroom before the tardy bell rings.

Eren takes his seat, leans back in his chair and waits.

          Waits for the pill to kick in

                   Waits for the jittery sensation to stop

                             Waits for the room to gain this glazed over look

He smiles after a little while, leans forward and props his head up with his hand. Green eyes slip shut as he starts to feel like he’s melting, like he’s blending in with the chair below him. The brunette spends the rest of his day like that, walking through the hall in a daze, feeling as if he were as light as the air drifting through the halls. When the final bells rings Eren is slow to pick his bag up, fishes his phone out and fumbles with it a moment.

It takes the teen a minute to open the text he’s received, Armin asking if he was going to walk home with them. He replies back, in horrible miss typed words, short hand that he’s grown used to using from his other phone. _“im goin 2 c N”_ Eren sends back, slips his phone in his pocket and leaves the room. He walks in a daze till he runs into Ymir. She gives him one look, a frown on her face before walking with him to the bus, makes sure he gets on. Eren dozes off on the ride, is woken up by a sudden stop and squealing breaks.

He climbs off the bus, heads towards the children’s home. Petra is waiting at the counter, jumps a bit when he drops his bag before her. She looks up at him, eyes lingering a bit longer then Eren would like. He still feels like air, still has this sensation of being light and not really _feeling_ anything at all. The brunette smiles down at her, and she smiles back, opens his bag and skims over the contents. She sets it back on the counter.

“You’re home early today.” She says, a pleased note in her voice.

If Eren was sober he’d frown at that, would comment on how this isn’t a home.

“I have my therapy today.” He says, takes his bag and heads inside the building. The brunette stops by his room and drops the bag on it, heads back on out into the hall. There’s chatter and noise all around him, of people talking about their day, of the television in the common room. Eren moves into one of the side rooms, one that is used when family’s meet the foster child for the first time. He flops down on the couch, slouches in his seat.

Green eyes fall shut as he waits, knows that the woman will come. She’s there twice a week even if he isn’t, is one of the few who hasn’t given up on him. Eren’s starting to come off the pill, feels a bit like he’s sinking back into his own skin. It’s a slow process and he knows he won’t be sober for a little long, knows that he can at least get through this without feeling.

The door opens up, shuts behind him. The teen doesn’t move, listens as the person sits down across from him, as they pull out some papers. When the room falls quiet again Eren pulls his eyes open and stares at the blonde woman across from him dressed in a pants suit. Her blue eyes scan over his face quickly and she gives a small smile.

They’re always small and always real.

Eren looks away.

“It’s good to see you Eren.”

“Like wise Nanaba.” The teen’s arms lie limply beside him, eyes on the window.

“How was school today?” She asks, frowns just ever so slightly when the other shrugs. “I see… you really should be trying more. I know you’re rather smart…”

Eren hates this part of the session, hates how the woman always scolds him on his grades, hates how she asks about his day about his week. It goes on for a while, idle chat that is starting to wear on the brunettes mind. He feels drained and wants to leave when Nanaba finally asks, “Sobering up?”

“I don’t know what you mean.” Eren plays dumb, can feel just a tinge of anxiety, barely there and muted by the drug still in his system. The woman makes a quick note, a displeased look on her features. He stares too long, because she’s looking at him again within seconds, blue eyes impassive. “Have you had an episode?”

Eren relaxes at this question, is strangely pleased to have finally reached this part of their session. He tilts his head back and stares up at the ceiling, is actually thinking. “No, but I haven’t been near anyone… not…”

“Only been in contact with those who know and understand?” Nanaba says, and Eren actually looks at her, at the ways she’s sitting, the way her back is straight and her suit is pressed. He looks at her face, at her eyes and hair, tilts his head back. There’s a bubbling anger in his chest, the jittery sensation creeping back in. He wants a cigarette, wants to call up a number in the pre-paid phone.

More than anything he wants to breathe in some white powder and be told he’s amazing.

“Yes.” He says after a long while.

“You’re never going to overcome this if you don’t work on it.”

Eren’s jaw tightens and he knows that the pill is almost gone now, is hyper aware of the room, of every sound outside in the hall. He can hear the television in the background, can hear the way Nanaba writes another note. “What if… I don’t care if I get better?” He looks at her again, watches as she freezes making a note. She looks up at him, sets her pen down, doesn’t say anything, waits to see if he says something else.

“How long have you been thinking like that?” She asks.

Eren knows better than to tell the truth, but the bubbling sensation in his gut, the way her hair shines with the sun that is finally peeking out from behind the clouds has his mouth opening. Words tumble out and he wishes Ymir had actually brought him two pills because this wouldn’t be happening otherwise.

“I’ve never thought otherwise.”

-

Eren waits for Mikasa to open the door, steps inside the small house. She smiles at him, gives him a hug before he moves over to sit on the couch. “How was it?” Armin asks, glasses perched on his nose as he works on some math homework. Eren sinks down on the couch, leans heavily against the blond.

“I don’t really want to talk about it.” He says, stares at the television. He feels drained, wants to pretend that the past few hours never happened.

Mikasa comes into the room and hands him a cup, sits down beside him. “It’ll be okay, she’s only here to help you. That’s all she’s ever been here for.”

Eren holds the cup, can feel the cold through the colored glass. He brings it to his mouth and takes a sip, hums lightly at the bubbles on his tongue.  She takes the glass from him and sets it on the stand beside her, tugs the brunette towards her. Eren lets himself be moved, lets the female run her fingers through his hair. He watches the television in a daze, listening to the laugh reel more than what the characters are actually saying.

Lights show in the driveway and a few moments later Hanji is walking into the kitchen. She smiles at the three on the couch, eyes tired. “How was your day?” She asks the three of them, sits down in the vacant chair. Armin looks up, blue eyes bright. He’s thinking more about the math problem he’s working on then the actual question.

“Not bad, saw Annie in gym?”

Hanji grins at this, bright and wide. “Oh?”

 Mikasa continues to run her fingers through brown locks, listening quietly as she always does. “She’s been doing better, is training to get back into shape.” She says after a second

Eren has this strange sense of displacement, feels very much like he doesn’t belong. “That’s good, it’s a shame what happened, I’m glad it was just a fracture -?” Hanji says, words trailing off as the brunette pushes himself up, heads towards the front door.

“I need some air.” He says quietly and steps outside, screen door falling shut behind him. The house falls silent for a brief moment, is filled with laughter coming from the television.

“Ah…” Hanji turns towards the other two, concern etched onto her face.

“He went to therapy today.” Armin says quietly, looks down at his math.

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it…” Hanji says it as a statement, knows that it really has been. She knows because every time Eren skips a session, Nanaba calls her. Nanaba, who she went to college with, who is now married to her friend Mike. She stands and walks towards the kitchen, looks out the front door, down the driveway to where Eren is sitting. “I really wish he’d just talk to someone about it, about what’s going on in his head.”

Mikasa stands and walks over to the woman, wraps her arms around her. “Mom, it’s fine, he’s just had a hard time. Maybe he did tell her and that’s why he’s upset?”

Hanji smiles at the word choice, turns around and squeezes the girl. “Alright, I’ll stop sulking. I promised Eren dinner, so we need to start now if he’s going to be able to eat it with us.”

-

The brunette lies back on the concrete of the driveway, stares up at the partially cloudy sky, at the faint tinges of color in the clouds. He looks back at the house behind him, at the windows to see if he’s being watched. Eren inches over, makes it so that his torso is out of sight from the front door. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the prepaid phone, presses the power button.

He turned it off the night he got back to the children’s home, is weary of someone finding it.

Eren watches the screen power up, waits a few seconds for everything to load. He opens up his contacts, starts to scroll through the names when a window pops up. The words ‘incoming message’ are displayed bright and bold and Eren frowns, curious. He clicks on the open button, is told -.3 of a minute has been deducted from his balance.

_“Fuck face you still alive?”_

The teen frowns at the foreign number, types back _“who dis”_ and hits send. He locks the screen, has forgotten about what he was doing in the first place and moves to put the phone back in his pocket. A few seconds later it vibrates and he pulls it out, opens the message again.

_“Are you stupid?”_

Eren doesn’t reply, glares down at the screen. It lights up again, a new message. He opens it, watches the ‘-.3 minutes deducted’ display fade before the text it shown.

 _“Levi.”_ Is all the second text says, simple, and the brunette doesn’t remember the name. _“u got da wrng #”_ He sends back, fingers fast on the 9 key pad. In the background he can hear Hanji’s voice loud and happy, can faintly smell something being cooked.

 _“You are stupid.”_ Is sent back, all too fast and Eren is started to feel irritated at this. _“ur wasting my mins”_ He locks the screen after that, stands up in the fading light.

The phone starts to vibrate, continuous.

A phone call.

Eren picks it up, brows furrowing in annoyance as he sees the foreign number again.  He clicks decline, turns back towards the house, eyes still down at the phone, irritation clear on his face. He’s completely forgotten about his visit with Nanaba, about what has been said, what he was asked. He’s focused on the person texting him, curious and annoyed at the same time.

The phone starts to vibrate again, the same number.

He answers this time, opens his mouth to speak but is cut off.

“I gave you two hundred and fifty fucking dollars, buy some damn minutes. “ The voice is low, has a bit of a growl to it, isn’t deep and it makes Eren freeze. He knows he’s heard it before but can’t place where.

“I’m sorry?” He says after a second, sounds oddly breathless, eyes darting back to the house.

“You heard me. I paid you money and you fucking run off on me.”

Eren reaches up and presses the palm of his hand to his forehead, temples throbbing.

“I don’t rem–“

“Of course you don’t remember, you were fucking higher then shit.”

Hanji opens the door behind him and Eren crouches back down, out of view. “Dinner’s almost ready, can you come back in now?” She calls, voice uneasy. The teen blinks, moves the phone from his face.

“Yeah, just a second!” He shouts back. He moves the phone back, green eyes wider then he’d like. He’s not prepared for this, is more than just a little lost on what to say.

“You still there brat?”

Eren closes his eyes, tries to collect his fragmented memory, to place himself back into _that_ persona. He remembers it then, shiny and black, the scent of cigarette smoke and – “The mustang.” He says, realizing who he’s speaking to now. “Look, I can’t talk – “

“I’ll pay you to talk.”

He falls silent, the man on the other end learning all too fast, knows just want to say to keep him from hanging up.

“How?” Eren is hesitant with his words, stomach twisting as he glances back at the house, doesn’t want to explain the prepaid phone to anyone.

“I want you to meet me tomorrow.”

Nervous uncertainty creeps up his spine and he’s itching for a cigarette. He knows that if he goes out, sneaks out at night that Armin and Mikasa will lock the house on him, won’t let him in for a while. He reaches up and tugs at his hair, doesn’t want to say yes, doesn’t want to say no.

“…where at?” Eren asks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also if you have not seen it, I have a playlist up that is a mixture of songs for Eren.
> 
> They're songs that reflect his thoughts, feelings and his way of life.
> 
> http://8tracks.com/lafyel/got-a-secret-can-you-keep-it


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a movie on Netflix that can give you an idea about Eren's foster house. It's called Short Term Twelve and it's actually pretty close to how his home is set up in my mind, with the rules and such.
> 
> I also updated the tags just a wee bit, and will continue to update as events happen.

It’s raining when he jumps awake, eyes snapping open and breath coming out fast. He stares up at the ceiling, at the pictures he’s taped up there, is reminded of where he is. The images of Armin and Mikasa only help so much and he inhales sharp and fast, rolls over onto his side. Eren places his hand over his mouth, tries to calm his breathing.

 He listens to the rain, the constant drizzle on the ceiling and against the window.

Eren pushes himself up, changes into a pair of worn jeans with a tear over the knee, a faded shirt with a logo that’s almost worn off. _“Don’t think.”_ He tells himself as he slips his shoes on and walks out into the hall, grabbing a hooded jacket along the way. _“Don’t think!”_  It’s dimly lit, quiet with the faint sound of a television playing down the hall, in the common room. _“Don’t think.”_   The brunet follows the sound, knows exactly who it is. He stops just outside of the room, leans around the corner. _“Don’t think.”_

 He watches the strawberry blond as she sips a cup of coffee, listens to the news anchors chat in the background. _“Don’t think you fucking piece of shit!”_ Eren squeezes his eyes shut, tries to force the thoughts back, to not dwindle on them. He presses his head against the wall, lets the coolness seep into his skin, breathes in slow and holds it. He opens his eyes, exhales quietly and looks over at Petra.

The way the dim light shines gives her hair a darker look, makes her skin seem paler.

He smiles lightly, sad almost, watches the woman a bit longer, is reminded of the time when he used to dream about homes and plush beds, about smiling faces and toast in the mornings. _“Don’t think.”_   He hisses at himself, flickering images of too pale hair and too bright eyes. _“Just don’t think!”_ And he’s almost pleading with himself this time, skin prickling at the images.

When Eren first came to the Children’s home Petra had given him a hug, was always cleaning the dirt from his face, and would scold him for doing reckless things. He remembers how things used to be, how easy it was to say good morning, to sit beside her and watch children’s shows in the morning.

The brunet pulls his eyes away, looks off at the adjacent hallway, where the girls sleep. _“Don’t think.”_   He hesitates, contemplates his chances of being caught before turning around. He disappears back down the hall, steps light as he makes his way towards a room in the back. He opens the door quietly and steps inside, the fluorescent lights flickering on with his presence. Eren hits the button to turn them back off and moves over to the window, pushes it open.

“Don’t think about.” He says it this time, words light and catching in his throat, hands shaking as he hauls himself through the window.

He hops down onto the damp cement and pulls the window shut behind him. _“Don’t think don’t think don’t think don’t THINK!”_ Eren turns and walks along the building, towards the back entrance, the stairwell he always sits at. He leans against the back door, just under the overhang, presses against the cool metal, tries to ignore the pricking under his skin. He pulls the hood of his jacket up, tugs his legs in close to his body and tries not to remember his dream, the fragmented memories.

-

The sun has risen by the time Ymir makes her way out back, a jacket on and the hood pulled up. There’s a steady drizzle falling from the sky, a slight chill to the air. She stops when she sees Eren, eyes taking in his posture, the way he’s hunched, how his arms are wrapped around himself. She takes a slow step towards him, is careful, waiting for him to notice her.

“Hey…” Eren says, words slow and sluggish, exhaustion slipping in through his tone.

Ymir can see it, has known the brunet long enough. She can see it in his posture, his eyes, can hear it in his voice…

“Hey.” She reaches into her pants pocket, pulls out a pack of cigarettes. “You’re up early.” She comments, places one between her lips and pulls a lighter out. The flame flickers up and she inhales, lighting the end. “So…” She starts, eyes turning back towards Eren. “Want to talk about it?”

“No.” He says, doesn’t even look at her.

Ymir nods, looks down at the cigarette pack, thinking. “Take this.” She says.

The brunet looks up, catches the pack she’s tossed at him. “There’s two in there, try and make it through the day.”

Eren nods, open the top and looks at the filters pointing up at him. “Thanks…” He says.

Ymir lifts her hand, brings the cigarette to her lips. “Take one now, so that when class starts you’re okay.” She inhales, eyes running over Eren’s form. “The other is for lunch,” She says on an exhale, smoke rising around her.

“I know.” Eren flips the pack over, holds the cigarettes in place. Two pills fall out and he takes one, swallows it down without any problem, places the other back inside the pack. Ymir moves to lean against the wall, just out of the rain. She tosses the lighter at Eren, slides down into a crouched position.

“How long have you been up?”

“I don’t know, before the sun.” He’s shaking just a little as he lights the cigarette, tries his best to steady his hands, knows that Ymir is watching him.

“You… could just go to the office today.” She doesn’t want to press it, doesn’t want to scare Eren off, tries to keep the suggestion light.

“Yeah…” He breathes in, holds the smoke in his mouth for a moment. “I just…”

“Nanaba?”

Eren sighs, flicks his ashes off to the side, “If I go then…”

“I’ll talk to Mikasa and Armin if you’d like?”

They sit in silence, for a long moment, the steady drizzle of rain loud against the roof. Eren stubs the cigarette out on the step, pushes himself up. “I’ll think about it…” He says as he heads back in the direction he came.

Ymir sighs and doesn’t move, knows that _‘I’ll think about it’_ means no. She waits till Eren’s gone to pull her phone out, dials a number she knows all too well.

-

Eren’s almost late for class that day, more so then usual. He walks into the room as the bell rings, makes his way towards his seat in the back. He feels calmer than he has in a while, needs to make a mental note to thank Ymir for whatever it is that she gave him. Eren knows that it’s a stronger pill then what he had yesterday. He feels oddly relaxed, dazed almost. The nervous jittery sensation is gone; the feeling that he’s wading into a panic has faded.

The teen is left with a sort of calmness, one that he wishes he never had to leave.

He spends the entire day like that, just barely making it to each class as the bell rings, head light and body just shy of being numb. Initially he thinks Ymir had given him Xanax, but he isn’t so sure as the hours pass. It’s only around lunch time that Eren can feel the pill fading, can feel his uncertainty creeping back in. He takes the other before he can think too much on it, swallows down the pill with some water from a fountain, heads off towards the bleachers.

It’s still raining out; the sky’s still dark with a bit of a chill to the air. Eren pulls his hood up and makes his way across the field. He crawls under the bleachers and sits down on a dry patch of grass. He’s tired, plops his backpack at his feet and pulls out the pack of cigarettes Ymir had given him. The brunet vaguely wonders where the other is, can’t bring himself to care when he finds a lighter in his bag.

He sits there, cigarette lit between his fingers, listens to the rain hitting the metal benches above him.

Eren fishes his phone from his bag, the one Armin and Mikasa gave him. He stares down at the text he’s received, simple things from his friends, concerns on his wellbeing. Eren’s not surprised that Ymir told them about his morning. It’s not the first time she’s found him like that, not the first time he’s woken up from a nightmare feeling helpless.

He forces himself to focus on the touch screen, types out a reply, slow and careful. Eren knows he can’t slip up, knows that if either of his friends found out he was taking pills they’d tell, would rat him out to Nanaba and the authorities. As it is he’s skating on thin ice with Nanaba, who plays innocent, doesn’t call him out when he’s high.

Yesterday had been rare, had made his skin crawl that night when he thought about it…

Eren’s phone vibrates in his hand a moment later and he opens the text, stares down at Armin’s reply, a simple question about seeing him later. He hesitates in replying, wants to say yes, wants to lie on the couch with Mikasa running her fingers through his hair, wants to wait for Hanji to come home from work. He wants to pretend the day never happened, that his dream wasn’t what woke him that morning…

And yet he thinks about sharp eyes, a solid voice with an irritated tone, thinks about a shiny black mustang.

Eren writes back a simple no, flicks the ashes of his cigarette to the side. He puts his phone away, doesn’t want to read the blond’s disappointment.

-

He tosses his backpack out the bathroom window that night, after bedroom checks have been done, after the night staff has counted him as being there.  The brunet hauls himself up and through the small window, pulls it shut behind himself. He’s grown too used to sneaking out, finds it too easy these days. It’s the same thing every week, the same routine.

Eren comes back from school, sits around with the other kids in the home, watches television – sleeps normally. He wakes up around dinner time, eats and heads back to his room, packs his bag. Room checks are done around nine thirty, the staff moves from room to room, looking in and making sure each person is there. Eren always leaves his door cracked, lies in bed, listening. It’s a little after ten when he gets up, when he walks quietly towards the bathroom.

The cement outside is wet, makes his socks damp as he pulls his sneakers from his bag. He ties them on tight, pulls the hood of his jacket up, puts the backpack on. Eren jogs away from the building, quiet and towards the street. He stays on it for a few blocks, disappears into the alleys as soon as he can. Eren pulls his prepaid phone out as he’s jogging, looks up at the overcast sky, at the dark clouds covering the moon.

He really doesn’t want it to rain again.

The phone is powered on and within a minute there’s a text waiting for him. Eren slows down just a bit, a fast walk, and opens the text up, stares down at the words. _‘Dipshit call me.’_ He gives an irritated sigh, closes the screen and continues on his way, jogs through the alleys till he reaches the abandoned building.

Eren stops just inside the door, uses his foot to prop it open. He presses a button on the prepaid phone, makes the screen light up, uses that to navigate his way up to the third floor, down the barren hall and into the apartment. His clothes are still there, the wigs and random accessories, the various heels. Eren bites at his lower lip, a twisted grin slipping onto his face.

He pulls the door shut behind himself, uses the light of the cell phone to pick out an outfit, a pair of heels and a wig. Eren empties his backpack and places the clothes inside, picks up some condoms from the floor, a little packet of lube. He fishes the small purse out and stuffs the items inside. A gust of wind rips through the building, cool and with the scent of rain. It causes the teen to stop, look up at the cracked window.

He can’t see anything outside, just the dark outline of the adjacent building, hints of street lights. Eren hums, thinking fast. He turns to his backpack and starts pulling the clothes back out, starts to change in the dark, thinks that he’ll have better luck getting a ride if he’s dressed up. He pulls on lace panties, torn fishnets and a small black dress, one that hugs his hips and ass. Eren fumbles with the wig a moment later, spends a few minutes adjusting the long strands, getting it to sit as naturally as possible, hiding his own hair underneath.

The brunet uses the light of his cell phone and a cracked mirror to paint his face, to outline his eyes in kohl, to paint his lips bright red. He pulls the small purse from the backpack, stuffs items that he deems essential in it, the condoms and lube, his prepaid phone and cigarettes – the lighter Ymir had given him. Eren picks up a pair of heels and walks out into the hall, feet covered only by the fishnets. He makes his way down stairs, slips the shoes on before heading out into the alley.

He walks slower now, pace easy as he tries to calm himself, to prepare himself for what the night might bring. Eren feels a bit like he’s going to panic, can feel his anxiety slowly climbing. He thinks, _knows,_ it has something to do with meeting that man later, has something to do with the dark sky and the fact that he snuck out on a day he shouldn’t have. He breathes in through his nose, contemplates lighting a cigarette when the prepaid phone in his purse starts to vibrate and ring loudly.

“Hello.” He answers before realizing that there was a name and not just a foreign number on the screen.

“Can I have you tonight?” Calm words that make him stop, that has him pulling the phone from his ear, checking the name he saved the number as.

_Blondie_

“I was already purchased.” Eren says, brushes some synthetic strands away from his face. He slows his steps to a crawl, no longer in a hurry, no longer caring if he’s late seeing the other - despite not having set a time.

“I’ll pay more.” The man says, calm and soothing, enchanting almost.

Eren swallows, knows that the person on the other line will, knows that it isn’t often when he gets this chance.

“I’ve got something lovely for you.” The words are smooth, make his head just a bit dizzy with prospects, with expensive food and large cash bills. “You’ll like it.” The voice teases, playful.

“Yeah?” He can’t help the fact that he’s curious, that he’s intrigued. “What is it?”

“This pretty little corset, _doll_ , comes with a pill you like too.”

“Just one?” Eren has stopped walking entirely now, has inched back to lean against a building. “Because one doesn’t work for me.” He’s honest, knows that if he gets one that he’ll want another. One hasn’t been enough for him in a long time.

There’s a chuckle, a laugh, and it makes the teen’s skin prickle, has his insides twist because he likes this man, loves when he’s in town, loves how he’s treated when they’re together. He likes feeling like something more then what he is, likes the idea of being something precious and special.

“I know babe, but one to start you off, that’s if you want to come and play tonight. I’ve got some spare time tonight and tomorrow. I’m in town for a couple of days.”

Eren is quiet, closes his eyes a moment as he tilts his head back, can feel the cool breeze flow through the streets, can feel it ruffle the fake strands, can feel them brush against his shoulders. He hums, thinking, can picture the other man, how irritated and angry he’ll be when he tells him no, that he’s not going to see him.

He can’t seem to get the image of the sleek black car from his mind though, is curious what the other does for a living to pay for it.

“Okay,” He says, grin spreading across his face. “Better make this worth my time.” He’s teasing now, slipping back into his other self, into his street personality.

“Of course I will, going to have you trembling soon enough.” The man is laughing softly, and Eren can hear the smile in his voice, slides down into a crouched position against the wall, knees together. “Now just text me where you’re at.”

“Alright, see you soon.” The brunet hangs up, opens up a text and sends a quick message, the name of the street he’s on and the one intersecting it. He puts the phone away for a moment, searches his purse for his cigarettes a second later, pulls one out and lights it.

Eren breathes in deep, exhales the smoke slowly, lets the nicotine calm his nerves. He opens up a new text, one to the man who called him from the other night, to Levi. “ _Im busy 2nit_ ” He sends and puts the phone away.

It’s not even a minute later when it’s ringing, when Levi calls back. The brunet stares down at the prepaid phone, mild irritation and curiosity getting the better of him. He presses the answer but, doesn’t even get to say something before the other is talking, snapping at him.

“Busy my fucking ass, tell that shit face you were already bought.”

“No, first come, first serve.”

“Fuck you.” Levi snaps, “Where are you bitch?” He says on an exhale.

Eren rolls his eyes at this, rattles off the street names. He doesn’t really care who gets him first, thinks that he can get more money if they encounter each other. He gave the other man a bit of a head start though, and the prospect of being gone when Levi shows up amuses him.

“You know I can pay you more.” Levi says, bringing Eren out of his thoughts. The teen laughs a bit at this, painted lips curling up into a grin.

“I wouldn’t go so far as to say that.” He replies too fast, almost in a snippy manner, realizes that it catches Levi off guard, the line going quiet.

“I gave you almost 300 last time.”

“I’ve received more.” Eren looks down at his cigarette, mildly surprised at how he almost forgot about it. He inhales off it, flicks his ashes off to the side. “This one isn’t in town often.” He feels a bit of malice creeping up his spine, wonders just what it is that the man on the phone wants, why he’s so inclined on having him that night. “What is it that you wanted from me tonight anyways?” Eren adds in before Levi can say anything.

Levi is quiet on the line, faint sounds of the car coming in. The brunet stands and walks over to the edge of the side walk, turns and stands with his feet hip width apart. He lifts the cigarette to his lips and breaths in off of it, exhales the smoke a second later. “Cat got your tongue? Or are you not into the phone sex thing?” He drops the remains of the cigarette onto the ground, steps on it with the front part of his heel, drags his foot back, smearing the remains on the cement.

“I don’t want sex from you.” Levi’s words are harsh, tone low. “I wanted to make you a proposition.”

Eren hums, looks up as an all too nice car turns the corner and heads towards him.

“That’s a shame, I was looking forward to fucking you.” His tone is cruel, mocking. “Make you cum so hard you pass out.” A grin stretches across his face, green eyes darkening. “Bet you haven’t had sex in a long time, what with how uptight you seem.”

“Fucking cunt.” Levi snaps, foot pressing down on the gas pedal.

“Ahhh looks like your time has run out, my ride’s here.” Eren watches as the BMW pulls up beside him, as the door’s lock clicks open.

“The fuck it is.” And the teen can hear it then, the loud roar of an engine as the black mustang comes around the corner from the other direction, as it pulls off on the other side of the street. Eren just sighs, ends the call and opens the door to the BMW.

Levi steps out of his own vehicle, glares at him from across the street. “I’ll pay more than whoever that is can offer.” He says, smug almost with his posture, with the tone of his voice.

Eren is about to retort, about to say something when he realizes that the driver of the BMW is laughing softly , “Eren sit down.” He says, starts to roll the driver’s side window down. The teen watches as Levi’s expression shifts from irritation to blatant surprise and shock.

“You’re kidding me right?” He says, eyes fixed on the man driving the car. Eren doesn’t move, is more than just a little confused as Levi shuts the door to his car and crosses the two lane street.

“Eren sit, please.” The man says again and it causes the brunet to start, to slide down into the passenger seat and pull the door shut. He watching the other two, curious eyes and brows knitted together just a bit. He wants to understand, wants to know why Levi seemed so surprised, why the other laughed when he saw him.

“When did you start fucking child prostitutes, Erwin.” Levi all but growls into the driver’s window, hands planted on the window ledge.

Erwin just laughs, an easy knowing smile on his face. “I could ask you the same thing, Levi.”

Eren feels his stomach twist at the use of names, at the strange familiar speech they both used. He has a sinking sensation that he shouldn’t have let them meet, that it’s going to end poorly for him.

“I don’t want to fuck him.” Levi retorts, eyes darting towards the brunet, who flashes him a wide and sinister smile, who sinks into his seat and crosses his legs. “I wanted to offer the bitch a job.”

Erwin hums at this, turns to look at Eren. “In your club?” He says and Eren is more than just a little confused. “I think he’d make a lovely stripper, he has great use of his hips.” The blond man says, eyes trailing over the teen’s legs. “And I’m glad you don’t want him in bed, means I can have him all for myself.”

Levi makes a sound, irritated and looks off down the street. “You’re a sick old man.”

“And you still want to employ him in your club.” Erwin retorts, hands smoothing over the steering wheel. “If you want I can drop him off at your club later and you can talk to him then.”

Eren opens his mouth, feels like he’s being handed off like a toy between two bickering children. He snaps his jaw back shut when two sets of eyes turn back towards him. “How does that sound?” Erwin is polite, blue eyes kind as they stay on his face. “I’ll pay you for half the night and Levi here can have you after. He doesn’t care about sloppy seconds.”

“I’m not fucking a child.” The shorter man replies without a second’s hesitation. “I just want to talk.”

“I don’t _just_ talk.” Eren says, defiant as usual, green eyes locked on Levi’s. “If you want my time you better be paying for something other than talking. I don’t take charity.”

Erwin gives a small laugh, shakes his head lightly. “I’ll come by later regardless of Eren’s decision, we need to have a business meeting anyways.”

Levi nods in approval at this, still seems irritated, still has his gaze locked on Eren. “Fine.” He says, turns and heads back towards his vehicle. Erwin rolls the window up a second later and pulls out onto the street. The car is silent and Eren feels his head starting to ache, is itching for another cigarette, for something to calm him down.

“I’ve never seen Levi so interested in someone before.” Erwin says, casual.

Eren is silent, doesn’t know what the other is getting at.

“But we are going to visit his club later.”

He doesn’t say anything, takes to running his fingers over a tear in his fishnets on his thigh, plucks at the material. He told himself he would be detached, that he wouldn’t get involved with customers, that he wouldn’t ask about their lives, that he wouldn’t be _curious_ about anything.

“I’m in town to see him.” Erwin glances over at Eren, reaches over and runs his fingers over the brunet’s thigh. “He’s… kind of like a business partner of mine.” Blue eyes turn back towards the road as fingers slip up under the small black skirt.

“I don’t care.” Eren says, shifts in the seat and leans across the car, fingers reaching for the blond man’s belt.


	5. Chapter 5

Eren feels like he’s flying, like he can do anything he wanted, invincible almost. His skin is tingling, is hot and cold at the same time, has his head feeling light. He breathes in, lets out a choked laugh and squirms on the bed. He’s half way to feeling like he’s aroused, half feeling like he’s –

“Oh my god.” The brunet rolls on the large bed, is stretching like a cat, ass in the air. “This feels so…” He makes a sound, dazed and not understanding, turns his head to look over at Erwin.

At the blond man who’s buttoning his shirt up, is dressed in black slacks. He smiles, a smirk almost, amused at the others reaction. “I take it you are enjoying yourself?” There’s amusement in his voice as he turns and walks over to the edge of the bed, is fixing his belt and tucking his shirt in.

“Yes…” Eren all but purrs, head tilting to look up at the other. “Oh god it’s amazing, what was it?” His wig is tilted just a bit, the strands splayed out, over his shoulder and back.

“Just a little something that’s being worked on.” Erwin smiles, eyes dark as he reaches down and runs his finger along the teen’s jaw, “Look at you, you’re such a mess.” There’s a teasing tone in his voice, one that has the brunet scrambling to sit up right to lean forward, feet tucked under his rear and knees parted.

“Can I… Please?” Eren breathes out, reaches for the man’s belt, “Oh please let me do something for you.” He bites at his lower lip, grinning, cheeks pink tinted as he looks up. Erwin hums, blue eyes running over the teen’s messed up wig, the slight smear of his lipstick, the torn part of his fishnets.  He reaches forward, presses his thumb to Eren’s lower lip, drags it down, smearing the red just a bit more.

“You want to please me?” The man repeats, “You want to work for the money I’ll give you?”

“Yes, yes, what can I do for you?” He inches forward on the bed, too short skirt inching up and over his hips.

“Stand,” Erwin commands, watches as Eren scrambles to do so, amused at how eager he seems. “Over there, away from the bed.” He nudges the teen to the center of the room, hand placed on the small of his back. He moves his hand lower, palm curving over Eren’s ass, tugs lightly at the fabric. “Strip, everything off.”

The brunet is all too eager to pull the dress off, to discard the torn stockings, to push the panties he had on down. The items are left in a pile on the floor, and he turns, glossy eyes wide with enlarged pupils, grins at the man. He’s eager for more instructions, wants to know what the blond is thinking. Erwin wasn’t watching as the teen stripped, had been pulling clothes out of a bag. He turns back towards Eren when he’s satisfied with the articles.

“Arm’s up.”

Eren obliges, lifts his arms as a black corset is wrapped around him, loose as it’s clasped in the front. “I got you a nice gift for tonight.” He says, starts to pull the strings on the back, tightening the material. Erwin is meticulous as he cinches the corset, pulls it tight.

Tighter

And Eren feels like he can’t breathe, head light and sparks flashing behind his eyes.

Erwin stops tugging on the ties, makes a knot and then a bow at the top. “There, looks good on you too.” It’s black with a subtle floral print, has a deep green color for the laces. Eren opens his mouth to reply, breathes in and can feel his chest try to expand, restricted and tight. He misses when Erwin moves again, feels his skin prickle when his thigh is touched. He looks down blinks, dazed as the man kneels before him. He’s holding a small black fabric, shorts or panties, the brunet isn’t sure which.

“Step in.” Erwin says, holding it so that the teen can do so, and he does, one foot and then the other. The material is light and sticks to his skin, is slinky almost, as it’s pulled up his legs and over his thighs. Erwin adjusts the fabric, fiddles with it until he likes how it sits, till it’s cupping Eren’s ass, and he grins, blue eyes dark.

“There, my doll looks lovely now.”

Eren grins at this, tries to breathe in, head starting to swim. “Anything for you.”

“Do you remember what I want you to call me?” Erwin says as he stands, hands moving to adjust the brunets wig, fixing his smeared make up. Eren hums at the contact, eyes falling shut and lashes fluttering. He licks at the thumb that passes over his lips.

“Daddy.” The word actually kind of disgusts him, makes his insides twist and his mind retaliate. “Anything for Daddy.” He licks at the man’s thumb again, eyes bright and cheeks red. He doesn’t really care though, because it’s just a _word_ and it holds no meaning for him.

He doesn’t remember his father.

“That’s right doll,” Erwin adjusts the wig a little longer, situating it better on the teen’s head. When he’s satisfied he leans down and presses a kiss to the other’s forehead, leans back and holds his hand up.

A small paper, parchment, folded neatly into a square.

Eren’s eyes light up, and he looks from the paper towards the taller man’s face.

“We have a busy night and I don’t need you getting tired.” Erwin leans down and noses along the teen’s neck, can feel the paper being taken from him. Eren unfolds it, careful. Inside is a white powder, fine and sitting along the seam of a fold.

He leans forward and inhales through his nose, breathes in the white substance, as much as he can. Erwin says something in his ear, words of encouragement and praise, something of the sort. Eren doesn’t care, just licks up the residue left behind, rubs the tip of his nose.

-

He feels like he can hardly breathe with how tight the corset is, feels like his body is light and that he could run for miles. He’s dazed and his skin prickles at the air from the fan inside the car. Eren has no idea where he’s being taken, has adjusted the strap of his purse to sit across his body, is higher than he thinks he’s ever been and yet acutely aware of his money. He feels a smile stretch wide across his face, a tingle running up his back.

The passenger door opens and the teen doesn’t recall when they stopped, laughs easily as Erwin helps him stand. Eren is directed, nudged and moved towards a building. His vision is hazy and he has a hard time focusing on anything aside from the hands on his arms. The grip Erwin is using has his body almost trembling, a breathy whine slipping out.

“Feeling good?” The man asks, voice close to the teen’s ear.

Eren all but twitches, leans back against the others body. He’s nudged forward again and the steady thump thump of a bass penetrates his senses, has him realizing that they’re going into a club. He looks up, tries to focus on the building but isn’t given the chance. Erwin nudges him forward, all firm grip and kind words, one hand on his forearm, the other curling over his hip. He takes him to the front of the line waiting to enter the club, is given one look by the man at the door before being let in.

The brunet feels a nagging curiosity wash through him, only to be over shadowed by the feeling he gets from the sound of the music, from the bass playing and the lights dancing about. His eyes are wide and he makes a sound in his throat, takes a step towards the lights, the dance floor, only to be pulled back. “Not that way, doll.” Erwin says in his ear and it has Eren’s insides twisting, has his lips parting and his voice catching.

“…’kay daddy…” He manages to say, is pushed and nudged away from the center room, off towards a darkened corner. Erwin opens a door, one that Eren’s hadn’t seen, one that makes him think that the blond had just created it out of nothing. He starts to ask, words jumbled and not making sense, hands going to take hold of the man’s tailored jacket, his too neat white shirt. His hands are shushed away, body forcibly turned and led down the dark hall.

Eren thinks about the old story of Alice and the rabbit hole, tries to breath in deep only to have his chest restricted, the corset being so tight. He feels dizzy in the dark, reaches out with his hand to touch the wall yet he misjudges, finds that there’s just darkness and he stumbles, thinks that he might be falling, except Erwin is holding onto his forearm and waist. The brunet is confused and it makes his lips stretch into a wide smile, has him giggling, laughing, and it almost sounds twisted.

Erwin steers him this way and that, around a corner that Eren couldn’t see. Another door from nothing opens and inside is dimly lit, the bass from the club faint yet still present, still causing the teen’s skin to tingle. The brunet is nudged forward, directed over to the couch and pushed down against it. He blinks, eyes focused on the man before him.

“Now I need you to be a good little toy and be quiet while I have a chat with my _friend_.” Erwin is standing before him, leaning over and blocking the room from view. His voice sends chills down Eren’s back, has him almost whining to be touched.

“Yes, yes, anything for you daddy.” The words come out almost as a purr as Erwin leans back as he looks around the room. Eren slouches as much as he can in the corset, squirms against the cool leather. He tilts his head to the side, the wig still in place, manages to see a small bar off to the side, a handful of stools surrounding it.

A door opens off to the side, a different one from where they entered and Levi walks in, pressed slacks and a button up shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His steps are oddly loud, almost deafening to Eren as he turns to stare, watch as the shorter man walks behind the bar. He calmly pulls out a bottle and pours himself a glass of golden liquor, turns his attention to Erwin.

His eyes flicker over to Eren on the couch, but he doesn’t say anything to the teen. “Do you want a drink, Erwin?”

“No, thank you.” Erwin smiles, sits down beside Eren, snakes his arm behind the brunet and tugs him close, fingers curling around the corset. Levi doesn’t say anything, cool grey eyes just watching the other. He moves to sit down across from Erwin, on the adjacent couch, leans back and takes a sip of his drink.

-

There’s talk and he doesn’t understand it, can’t focus long enough on the words being said. His head is too light and his limbs are tingling. Eren twitches and does his best not to squirm, does his best to sit still, to be the perfect doll.

Except

Except Erwin continues to talk, relaxed and all nonchalant, oblivious to the teen’s discomfort, oblivious to how the smallest touches make the other shift and twitch.

Levi notices, grey eyes devoid of emotion as he watches, as he sees the hand on Eren’s side, as he stares when he replies to something that’s been said. It’s getting to be too much, and Eren’s too high to notice, is too far gone inside his own head. The whole scene is like a blurred painting, is spiraling out of control.

Eren likes control just as much as he likes giving it up.

Normally he’d be coming down now, normally he’d be done with his job, normally he’d be getting his money and leaving.

Time with Erwin is anything but normal.

Levi is anything _but_ normal.

Erwin’s hand shifts and Eren squirms on the couch, a light sound slipping out. It’s almost too much, the drugs and the tension and the whole scenario has gone out of control. Eren’s semblance of control snaps and he whines, high pitched and breathy as Erwin’s hand slides down from the teen’s back, slips inside the slinky black shorts.

Eren’s ass is squeezed, the skin to skin contact has colors sparking before his eyes, has his limbs twitching, has him speaking.

“Mnh – _Daddy_!” The word rolls off his tongue, trained and imprinted on his brain, the promise of money behind it.

The word creates a stir, has Levi snapping.

Eren can’t properly register what happens, can only feel a warm hand on his waist, is breathless by the movement, head spinning and vision blurred. He can smell something soft and woody, realizes he’s standing.

Levi has grabbed him, has yanked him up and shoved the small table out of the way. The smaller man’s body is turned, has Eren standing farther away from Erwin. He’s placed himself between the two, eyes glaring daggers and the blond.

“What did you give him?” He asks and Eren pushes against his shoulder, weak.

Erwin smiles, blue eyes dark as his lips curl. He doesn’t stand, just lifts his arms to rest on the back of the couch. “It’s what I was here to talk about. Isn’t it magnificent?”

“What did you give him?” Levi repeats, arm wrapped tightly around the teens waist. His shoulder is hit again, a light sound coming from the brunet.

“Ah well, we haven’t got a name for it, not yet. It’s something that’s similar to Ecstasy, gives the user energy, but it seems like my doll here had too much.”

Levi grits his teeth, refuses to look at Eren as Erwin does. His lip curls and his free hand twitches. He’s tempted to – “Get. Out.” He snaps, ignores the twisting against his side, the clawing at his arm.

“That’s not how you treat a friend.”

“I said get out.” The smaller man’s tone is flat, grip tightening on Eren as he shifts against him, nails digging into his skin.

“My doll’s going to be mad when he wakes up.” Erwin is teasing, pressing buttons and Levi knows it, has known the other for so long now. The blond knows just where to push though, “He’s going to be asking for _Daddy_ , wondering where _I_ am till the stuff wears off.” The grin is a smirk now, dark mirth in his blue eyes. Levi can’t take it, show’s how irritation and anger, his displeasure all at once. He reaches behind his back, tugs and within seconds Erwin’s amusement and smirk are gone.

There’s a click, followed by cool words. “Get out.” And the room is quiet, save for Eren’s rapid breathing.

Erwin stares at the gun, at how calm Levi is.

“This is your building _now_ , I guess I have to obey the _owners_ wish.” He stands, straightens his shirt and heads for the door, pauses to look back. “I’ll schedule our next meeting elsewhere, and it better go much smoother.”

“Don’t bring hookers next time.”

“My doll isn’t a common whore. He’s special.” Erwin leaves, disappears into the darkened hall of the club. Levi moves once the door is shut, gun still in hand and finger on the side of the barrel no longer on the trigger. He sets Eren on the couch, moves to lock the door, reaches for a security pad on the wall. A button is pressed and he speaks before anyone can say anything to him.

“I need you to close the place early tonight.”

“Yes sir.” A woman’s voice replies a half second before the communication is cut. Levi turns and flicks the safety back into place, tucks the gun back under his shirt. He moves to kneel over Eren, curses under his breath.

The corset is too tight, has cut the teen’s breathing capacity…

The adrenaline and the movement, the sudden rush of standing and sitting… “Fucking brat.” …has caused him to faint.

-

It’s cool, the air, almost cold.

His eyes ache and his head is spinning. Eren feels a nausea creeping up his spine, a heaviness in his limbs. It takes him a moment to focus, to blink the sleep away, to realize he’s on something soft, something that he feels vaguely like he’s stuck to.

The soft clink in the background has his green eyes snapping open, has his senses on high alert. He pushes himself up, realizes that the wig is gone, that the restriction on his chest is gone. Eren looks down at the loose white t-shirt he’s wearing, something that’s a bit too large.

“It’s mine, don’t freak the fuck out.” Levi’s voice is exhausted as he leans over the counter top of the bar, is sipping water out of a glass. “I had to take that corset off you so you could breathe right.”

Eren bites his tongue, tries to recall what happened, tries to remember.

Yet it’s a blur of colors and sensations and the warm scent of vanilla.

“Where’s my purse.” His throat is dry and he feels weak, dehydrated.

“On the table in front of you.” Levi’s tone is devoid of any mocking as he grabs a water bottle from the fridge under the bar. He walks over and hands it to the teen. Eren reaches for the small bag first, just stares at the water.

“You took something that doesn’t even have a fucking name and you won’t take a water bottle?” It’s incredulous and backwards and mess up and the very definition of trust issues. “Just take the damn thing.” Levi shoves it at the brunet, sits down on the other side of the couch. He pinches the bridge of his nose and takes another sip of his drink.

“I need to talk to you about-“

“I need to use the restroom.” Eren cuts the man off, sets the bottle on the table. Levi just sighs, exhausted and drained and –

“Fine.” He stands and walks Eren across the room, opens the door as the teen walks in. The brunet sets his back on the counter by the sink, can feel the cool tile beneath his feet.

He’s barefoot and wearing too small shorts and a loose white shirt – has make up still smeared on his face.

He turns and stares at Levi whose leaning against the door frame. “Well?” He asks, mild irritation.

“Well what?” Levi stares back, unamused.

“Can I shut the door or do I have to take a shit in front of you?”

The man huffs, or snorts or maybe laughs, Eren doesn’t care because the man leans back, reaches for the door knob. “Fine you get ten minutes before I’m opening this.”

Eren just rolls his eyes and waits for the door to click shut.

He looks at himself in the mirror, rubs some of the kohl liner from his eyes, starts to adjust his hair when he catches sight of it. He stares at the door for a half second, eyes inspecting the room, the fact that it’s actually designed like a house hold bathroom, complete with a tub, a shower and even a window.

The brunet stands on the edge of the tub and pops the window open, looks outside. He feels oddly trapped, caged almost, and it makes his gut twist, the realization that he’s either stuck with Levi if he doesn’t take this chance. Eren can’t stand that he doesn’t have control, that he doesn’t have a single blade hidden on him, that he doesn’t even has his wig and clothes to hide behind.

He grabs his purse and hangs it over himself, cross body as he hoists himself out the window.

-

Eren lands on the cement outside, a hiss of pain from the harshness of it.

The drop wasn’t far, was hardly a drop at all, it was the gravel and the pebbles and the debris that hurt. The building was rough against his skin, against his palms and arms, the brick scrapping as he fell. He doesn’t sit still for long, stands and runs towards the street, towards the faint direction of cars.

It’s really early or really late, Eren can’t tell which, the sun hasn’t quite started to rise yet, but the sky is brighter than it should be. His feet ache as he runs, eyes on the side walk, avoiding the pebbles and things as best he can. He ignores everything he passes, just wants to put distance between him and the building, him and Levi.

He knows he only has a limited amount of time before the man realizes he’s gone, before he gets in his car and looks for him. Eren has to get off the street by then. He knows this is the fastest rout though, the fastest way to distance himself.

Running is something he can do, something that he has trained to do.

Despite all the cigarettes, despite the alcohol and all the drugs he can still run.

Eren vaguely thinks back to running during the day, in the bright sun and the hottest hour, tennis shoes laced tight as his feet hit the orange track. He remembers laughing, remembers Armin sitting in the stands while him and Mikasa would race. She’d always win, would smile brightly and give him tips like

_“You need to drink more water.”_

_“You should have warmed up more.”_

_“If you’re cramping you need more vitamins.”_

He’d pout and rub the sweat from his forehead, would tell her that her hair is getting too long.

Eren remembers the track meets, remembers the training and the concentration, remembers the form. He remembers that he could never beat Mikasa, remembers that he held the record at his school for fastest sprint.

He runs, head first into a solid form, kinetic energy knocking him back and onto the ground, gravel and cement scraping his palm and the side of his leg. There’s a clatter as he hits the ground, the sound mixed in with his gasp and whine. Eren scrambles to get back up, doesn’t even look at the person he’s run head first into.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I wasn’t looking where I was going.” The voice is stupidly sincere and it takes Eren’s brain a second to catch up to realize that the person wasn’t blaming him for the crash. He starts to push himself up, eyes darting down the street, breathes coming out fast and rapid.

“Here, let me help you up…” The sudden hand before him has his attention shifting back to the other, has his eyes darting up to actually look at him.

He’s stuck mute, just accepts the offer as he’s pulled to his feet.

“Um… I’m really… sorry…” Eren realizes now, more than anything that it’s obvious that he was running away from something. He turns, is about to dart down the alley nearby when his forearm is grabbed, holding him still. The pressure is light, is just enough to keep him there, is just enough to let the brunet know the other means no harm.

He swallows down the growing lump in his throat, tries to ignore the fact that the phone the other dropped was expensive, that the screen was cracked. “You want me to pay for it?” He asks.

“What?” There’s confusion in the others voice and it causes Eren to turn, to actually look at the other. “No, I… do you need help? Do you need a ride? I can call a taxi…”

Eren stares at him, at the young man, at the freckles dotting across his face and the stupidly warm brown eyes. He pushes the panic down his throat and nods. “Yes… I just…” Green eyes dart off at the street. “I need to get out of sight.”

“Okay, we can do that, you can hide but I’ll stay with you…” The young man lets go, and Eren hurries into the alley, couches down against the wall, out of site from the street. He watches the other pick his phone up, frown lightly at the screen.

Eren realizes it now, can see the pressed lines of the young man’s blazer, the emblem stitched onto the breast pocket as he walks into the ally. He can see the cleanliness of his shoes, the perfect cut of his hair.

He bites his lip and looks away, listens as the other manages to dial despite the cracked screen, to request a taxi, gives directions to where they’re located. When he hangs up the phone a silence settles between them, uncomfortable as Eren starts to inspect the scrapes on his legs, his palms and knees. He knows he looks terrible, looks like shit.

“I’m sorry about your phone.” The words are awkward and real.

“It’s okay, it’s the third time this month, the apple store is starting to know me.” The young man laughs, awkward yet real.

It makes Eren smile, for a second as his chest tightens, realization setting in.

“I don’t think I have money…” He says it more to himself, doesn’t remember Erwin paying him.

“It’s okay, I can pay for it.” The young man crouches down next to the brunet, watches the time on his phone. He stands after a little bit, moves to stand on the sidewalk, watching the cars starting to filter onto the street.

The sun is starting to rise, the sky turning pink and orange.

Eren wants nothing more but to go to sleep and wake up somewhere else, wants to wake up as someone else. He closes his eyes for a moment, tries to ignore the sickness in his gut, the twisting hunger. The sound of talking startles him, steps moving forward.

“Taxi is here.” The words are soft, kind, as if to not scare him off. “If you… if you need to I can come with, to the police station or-“

“No.” Eren’s tone is flat as he stands. “I’m not going there.”

“I see…” The young man frowns as he walks him towards the cab. He opens the door, lets Eren sit down as he reaches into his pocket, pulls out some money. “This should be enough right?”

It’s too much, they both know it.

“Yeah.” Eren takes it, fingers numb. “Thanks.”

“Hopefully I’ll see you again?” The young man gives an awkward smile and the brunet just nods, green eyes flicking away. “My names Marco… I’m sorry for…”

“It doesn’t matter.” Eren doesn’t intend to be rude, not really.

He can’t help it though, can’t stop something that he’s ingrained into his personality. “Thanks.” He says, pulls the door shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;~; Can I just say I'm sorry for being so late/slow?
> 
> I've had a lot of things happen (New position at work, school starting back and can I say I have five classes? Microsoft word no longer working for me so I had to get a new version of it...)
> 
> I've spent a little while trying to figure out what I was doing with Levi because I had no real plan and well, I do now, his actions have purpose x: Everyone's does really
> 
> x
> 
> OH I need a beta again, like an official one. If you're up to it let me know either on here or my tumblr (I still have it even tho I haven't been on in a long time) And if you see any errors me and my friend missed let me know D:


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